Possible: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict by William Ury

  BOOK REVIEW BY SHONA M CRALLAN

Throughout a mediation, I ask the parties two questions: What would a resolution need to look like for them; and what do they think the other side want? Putting yourself in the shoes of the other and anticipating their position, helps to frame your requests in such a was as to more likely elicit an agreement.

William Ury in his latest book ‘Possible: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict’ talks about an exercise he uses called the Victory Speech. He asks the parties to imagine they have settled on terms favourable to them, and then to write the victory speech for the other side. We all have constituents of one form or another, whether that be shareholders, fellow directors, our families, or, in the case of governments and public bodies, the public. So if you can anticipate what the other side would need to be able to sell the agreement to their constituents as a success, it helps you determine both what to offer and how to frame your offers.  You are more likely to settle if you draft a proposal that can be sold by both parties as a win.

Ury describes using this technique with Donald Trump, Kim Jong Un and Dennis Rodman to avoid a nuclear war between the US and North Korea. This is one of many illuminating case studies in his latest book. If you haven’t read it I would recommend it, for mediators and anyone interested in the power of dialogue and relationships.